Category Archives: family

Sick and I don’t feel like doing anything but…

  • I woke up @ 8:00 am today with a runny nose and a nasty headache.
  • I thought of going back to sleep again but I figured, I just need a shower and my headache will just go away.
  • Of course, it didn’t so I just brewed coffee instead, sat on the couch, watch the news hoping some thing might enlighten me.
  • Nah, I can’t understand what they were talking about. I found out that it’s gonna be chilly and windy outside.
  • I left my coffee on the table and am not sure if my dog sipped a bit of it. I don’t care. My headache won’t go away.
  • I went back on the kitchen, toast a half slice of Cinnamon bagel, put a little bit of hazelnut cream cheese, took a bite and I feel so sick to my stomach. I left my bagel on the table and decided to take a nap.
  • I can’t sleep, bored, and I feel totally useless.
  • I looked around my bedroom and every thing is a mess! Books, magazines, pens, bottled water, a roll of tissue paper, cd’s and other paraphernalia scattered all over my room! Sh*t! I have to get up and clean my room.
  • While cleaning my room, I realized that I got a ton of dirty laundry, too. So, I started sorting my clothes and do my laundry.
  • Down in the basement, I found my Dad and brother cleaning the basement and me being such a nice person (pfffftt!) decided to help them a little bit.
  • While cleaning, I started sneezing and I felt so dizzy. I thought I might faint so I went back upstairs and took a sip of cold coffee. I was about to turn my back and check what’s going on the basement but in the blink of an eye I also realize that I have to cook.
  • I don’t wanna cook and I don’t feel like cooking but I really have to cook. I forgot about the frozen turkey that I left on a huge “palanggana” to thaw.
  • I finally decided that roast turkey is good enough for dinner. I don’t usually cook something like this on a daily basis because it take so much work and besides, turkey is a bit expensive but a bit cheaper since it’s holiday season.
  • After preparing all the necessary ingredients, I noticed that I hadn’t turned on the radio. I didn’t like the song they were playing on the radio so I turned the radio off. After a few seconds, I turned the radio back on and clicked on the “play cd” button. Oh my gosh! Backstreet Boys! Hahaha!
  • I totally and absolutely forgot that I own a Backstreet Boys cd and yes, I loved them back in the early 90s and early 2000s. Whew! Tempus fugit! Brings back memories, ya know! What the heck! Last thing I knew, I was dancing to the tune of “I Want It That Way” and “Get Another Girlfriend.”
  • While dancing and checkin out my dance moves in the mirror, I once again realized that I no longer possessed my own “unique-cool-uber funky-dance moves.” Heck! I also realized that I gained another stupid pound! Grrr! What to do, what to do?
  • Now that I just finished eating dinner with my uber so dysfunctional family, an idea came to my mind: I will stop eating chocolates for a whole month!
  • Nice thought, you think? No!!!! I don’t think I can! What am gonna do with 2 jumbo Cadbury chocolate bars that my friend gave me? Do I have to throw it away? Of course not!
  • After so much musings, whining, and ranting to myself, I once again realized that I forgot to take medicine for my headache. I forgot about my earlier bout of sneezing and I now once again sneezing non-stop. I can feel my head ache truly aches and oh my goodness…I am beat!

Guess, I better lie down and sleep. I am sick and I don’t feel like doing anything but….I am absolutely bored! I just hope that I’ll feel a little bit better tomorrow morning. Oh well, whatever.

I, Thank You

There are so many people in my life that I sometimes neglect and ignore. There is no logical reason and great excuse why I do this kind of unexplainable action. I am not the kind of person who can openly show my emotions to any stranger. A lot of people would often misinterpret that I am snobbish, cranky, moody (which is true, by the way *teehee*) and such but you know what? I am just being me. Words are not enough to describe how I feel whenever I think of the people in my life that really matter to me. I know that I may even forget to mention all your names and I may not even recognize your faces because I’ve only met some of you through cyberspace yet I am thanking you all for being a part of my life. I just woke up a few minutes ago and it dawned on me that I haven’t thank anyone of you. Some of you might not even read my blog because you guys are particularly aware that I am a very private person but I can be mentally crazy too and shall I say, that I also possessed some kind of a wicked and dry sense of humor (hehh!). In homage to Thanksgiving holiday we are celebrating today, allow me to thank all the VIPs in my life:

Family:

Mader and Pader: Yeah, I know I am being a sentimentalist here but anywho, I am really grateful for all your sacrifices, your sleepless nights everytime I get sick, all your patience for trying to keep up with my “kakulitan” and I know that sometimes I don’t show my affection towards you because I know that you guys know that you know what I know that I don’t know what I really know that I know that I still don’t know…hahhaha….I love you Mader and Pader! Afirrr! Kiss!

Abby: Dear sister, I congratulate you for passing NCLEX with 75 questions! You did great sis! Goodluck in everything and I wish you all the best in life. What to do next? Listen to Ate (that’s me) and get a job! Hirap na ako! Lol…I know you’re job hunting but I just wanna remind you again…where can we meet up for lunch? McDonalds? My Thai or Tank Noodle?

Bradder Otah: Thank you for cleaning up my room though I can no longer find my stuff. Thank you for cooking soup when I get sick, thank you for doing my laundry, thank you for taking care of our humble abode but most of all, thank you for brewing coffee every morning. Ano gusto mo sa pasko? Don’t tell me Notorious B.I.G. cd again? No thanks, I am already broke!

Bradder R: I hope you are okay. I know you have a family now but don’t forget us. Keep in touch and yes, we still care for you. Whatever happens, we’re still family. Call me sometime.

Coco, Coca, Hana, Taylor and Kalbo: Crazy birds! Thanks for keeping me sane lol. Everytime I hear you guys whistling in the wee hours of the morning, I feel like throwing away my alarm clock coz it no longer serve it purpose. You, little birdies rock! Ginigising nyo ko ng wala sa oras! Bwisit!

Nakey: My glutton Beagle pup. I don’t see any reason why we have you at home. Wanna know why? You LOVE to eat (just like moi), you love to nap (that’s me, too), and you love to poop (di ako yan! deny agad hehehe). But still, I love you not just because you are such a glutton but because you give such pure joy in my life 🙂

Real life buddies/Online friends:

Trish and Charity: Yo! Sexy ladies! You know a lot about me and I thank you guys for keepin’ it real. Thanks for keeping in touch Cha although you’re in Big Apple now. Trish, thank you for listening to me whine about my life and such. Group hug!

Maurice: Oy, where are you now? Wala na akong driver! Are you in Pinas now? How’s Nursing school? Whatever happened between you and Abby, it’s just between you two pa rin (lol). Bruha! I still have your digits but where the hell are you? Gimme a sign…ET come home! ET misses you! ET is lost without you! Need a map? Btw, may bagong album si 50 cent…just in case you’re lost in a middle of nowhere….Miss na kita!

Kuya Iggy: I feel so lab by you! Thanks for leaving a v-message on my mobile! You’re my Kuya talaga! Sweet! How’s your family? I’ll text u later…

Online Buddies/Trivia addicts/Fellow bloggers:

I am not gonna mention any more names. Sakit na fingers ko typing. I’ve been typing since 5 am. Thanks for being my lovely friends who loves me (lol). I love all the things that you guys do, that’s why I love you all (touche!). Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Naked Tree

11-14-07_1226tree.jpg

It would seem funny that I now realize something: my life is like a tree. It has so many ups and downs. So many obstacles and if am not strong enough, I will surely give up. I admire this particular tree outside my house though it stands alone, it does not lose hope because after the treacherous and frigid winter season, it will become alive again.

When I moved here in my current residence, I never really understood the meaning of living alone. I’ve always wanted to live alone, by myself, away from my siblings and family. I still haven’t experience living alone because I always wanted to live with my family. There will come a time that I will move away from home. I wonder when it would happen but I always knew deep in my heart that I will move away and live alone with someone.

So now, as I am admiring this tree outside I feel a little bit nostalgic about the thought of moving away someday and leaving my family behind. Too many memories. But just like trees, I must learn how to move on and accept changes.

photo taken: 11-14-07 *idotmatrix*

Broken rose

I remember the day I made my Mom cry. I am not a hostile person and I don’t harbor ill feelings towards anyone especially my family…or Mom. Vivid memories of my childhood no matter how happy or tragic it was, still haunt me like it only happened yesterday.

I don’t recall of ever saying how much I love my Mom. In fact, I grew up with a lot of insecurities, being rejected openly is the key to my aloofness when I was growing up. Being alone most of the time made me feel complete and happy somehow. I think my cousins think I am some kind of a nut case back then though they never said a word, actions speak louder than words.

Waking up in the morning and eating breakfasts together with my family is one of the most exciting part of childhoold. I would openly sit in the corner with Juki, our family dog, and eat voraciously. Though I would rather stay that way, me being oblivious with all the hooplah and endless chatter from my family, Mom would always look at me and not say a word about the situation.

I would often locked myself in my bedroom, listen in the radio, read a book and just be myself. I was a loner. I am still a loner. If you ask me now if I would do the same thing I did back then, I would honestly admit that no, I wouldn’t dare do the same thing again. I love being with people, all the people that love and care for me, I wouldn’t even trade them for any thing in this world.

I remember the morning I made my Mom cry. I couldn’t get up. My body ached horribly. I complained of having a terrible headache. I thought I would die right there and then. I was sick for months. My Mom patiently cared for me and though she never utter a single word of how I felt like I was some kind of a burden to her, I know that she love me. During those days, I would pretend that I was sleeping and I would hear my Mom sing a childhood lullaby. Mom never tried to finish the song. Her singing is often replaced by silent sobbing. Hearing my Mom cry for me is the most unforgivable and unforgettable thing that ever happened in my life. It hurt like my heart is being cut into a thousand pieces and never be in one piece again.

How could I hurt my Mom like that? Why did I let my Mom suffer so much? Those are questions that I still ask myself after so many years. I considered myself a broken rose then. As I recall of the past, I am glad I have Mom in my life. I know for sure without any doubt that my Mom will never read this (she’s not into computers…:) ), let me at least dedicate this open letter for her.

It’s a simple yet powerful message for you, Mom….Arigato gozaimashite. Okasa, I love you.

Personal blah blah blah

I haven’t been able to post anything lately here in my blog. The fact that I am somewhat clueless on what I would like to talk about is what keeping me in an idle stage. One of my habit is to procrastinate a lot and it’s hard to admit that I am a bad procrastinator. I planned on doing my laundry yesterday but I ended up doing something else. Browsing through heaps of dirty clothes, old magazines/newspapers, and a bunch of books in my bedroom, one could easily tell that I am in need of help. Someone who would clean my room and organize my paraphernalias, that is. I finally got a one week vacation from work and I think, I will use the time to clean everything at home (esp my bedroom) and get organize soon.

I had a boring and tiring Labor Day holiday because I worked. It was tough to wake up early in the morning knowing that everyone’s home and I was the only person in my household who would be working and get pissed at the end of the day. I didn’t even bother to ask my siblings what they did because I was too tired to even ask them. Instead of wasting my time watching all the dumb shows on TV, I’ve decided to sleep early. I think it was worth it because I have been depriving myself of sleep (too much caffeine, I must say).

My family is a cross over between the Simpsons and a ‘normal’ typical dysfunctional family. We are too dysfunctional that I can’t even understand how dysfunctional I am. It makes me wonder and laugh knowing that I enjoy being part of a unique family like I have. I guess, I am just grateful for having them in my life.

Well, I better end this one as I am about to become too emo and mushy…hahaha!