Migraine

God, another horrible day. I feel so awful today. My whole body aches. I don’t know how much I can endure and I don’t know if I have the energy left to get through with another monthly bout of migraine attacks. I hate migraines. Migraine is my worst nemesis. I can’t remember when I started having migraines. For the life of me, it might’ve started too many moons ago. I don’t know. My mind is in chaos. I can’t concentrate –much less from doing anything. I took two Tylenol tablets already. I forgot it doesn’t work miracles on me. Absolutely useless.

I can’t find inspiration to write either. I am usually in high spirits but today is probably my low-down state. I want to bang my head on the wall repeatedly. I want to knock myself unconscious so I can wake up from my own nightmare. I tried reading a book, “Water For Elephants”. Interesting book and though I barely started reading, I love this book already. I had to stop and put down my book. I tried napping for a few minutes. My dog started barking earnestly. Annoying. I dozed off for a few minutes and my headache just gotten worst. Grrr!

Good thing is, I am listening to a couple of good music. Relaxing music, that is. Love songs to be precise. I love listening to music. My brain can immersed to countless music without getting tired. I wish I were a musician and composed music. I am just babbling here, I know. Tomorrow is another day and I’ll definitely blog again.

My life is an adventure after all. With or without migraines, life is still beautiful ūüôā

PS:

Thanks to everyone who keeps on visiting my¬†site and reading my blogs. It finally dawned on me that my blog reach a milestone….1,023 hits in less than three months! Thank you so much! ūüôā

Constant Change

I was awakened by the sudden cold arctic blast this morning. Though I am aware that summer season is over and people already welcomed autumn, I am ashamed to admit that I on the other hand, is not ready for any seasonal changes—yet.

The cool and chilly morning breeze in the early morning hour with no single traffic in sight is what I always, always love about autumn season. I like the feeling of cold air enveloping my body while I am having my morning fix—coffee. I know that autumn season may look melancholic and gloomy for most people, but for no particular reason at all, ¬†I still enjoy the chilly temperature.

Yet, I am already complaining about it earlier this morning. It is probably because I am not ready for any ‘changes’. I would like things to stay as it is. The constant change that my life has to go through everyday is somewhat baffling to me yet I am also enthralled¬†by all the phases of growing up I am experiencing.

Change is what makes us afraid of accepting anything that comes into¬†our lives. And because of that, we often doubt ourselves and lose confidence. I know for a fact that this is true. I also have a lot of insecurities in life and yes, I doubt myself, my decisions in life and the future. I’ve think about stuff that I can’t even easily fathom alone and it is tough. To quote, “no man is an island” is definitely true.

I still don’t know how to deal with all the “changes” but my Dad once told me,”If you have no idea what to do next, go read a book, enlighten your mind, and think again”. I think, this is the best advice that my Dad ever gave me ūüôā

Random

ramen.jpg

Udong Chicken Ramen from Tokyo Lunchbox Restaurant. Right now, I feel like going out again and eat Udong ramen. The weather is not to my liking. I feel like taking a nap but I just can’t sleep with an empty stomach. I am starving, freezing, bored and have no idea what to blog next. Oh well…boiled egg will do….for now…

Nostalgia

I can no longer remember the¬†first time I ever cried over a boy. It seems funny now to¬†think about someone I¬†was once¬†familiar with yet I am aware ¬†of the reality that he can never be mine. It may sound selfish and self-centered but I still want to feel the feelings of having a teenage love. As I try to look back and even if I try, I know deep in my heart that I can never turn back the clock nor remain in the past. Falling in love is not a strange occurence during my teenage years. I’ve had my share of happiness, tears and heartbreaks.

The harsh reality of teenage love began when I was in 6th grade. One of my bestfriends held the same infatuation for the boy that I liked. I was never aware of the pain that I will be going through. I think, I was just being naive and foolish back then. I knew from the start that it would take a hundred years for him to like me. But still, I’ve fantasized about me and him being in love. It’s silly because I never had the chance to tell him how I feel. I found out he likes my bestfriend. I don’t remember the kind of relationship they had but I woke up one day and learned that he left and moved to another city.

I remained friends with my bestfriend until high school. I left my hometown when I started college. From then on, everything seems blurry. I never had the chance again to see my bestfriend and the rest of my childhood friends. I guess, we just moved on with our lives and never look back. It’s quite painful to even think about the past. This is just me being emo. It’s¬†quite nostalgic¬†to remember what happened in the past.

If only I could turn back time, I would’ve written a diary of what was happening before me. I regret not having a journal. Ahhh, perhaps it is never too late to start keeping a journal?

Heck, I am just being stupid….

Anger Management

I am so pissed this morning! I slept late last night, I set my alarm clock @ 5 am so I can wake up early and be at work on time. I never heard my alarm clock ring! I woke up @ 7 am today and I can’t believe it! I am ALREADY late for work! I don’t know how I did it but I took a shower for less than five minutes, not sure what clothes I got from my messy closet and off I go. When I got in the train station, I waited for 10 minutes (trains usually arrived 3 minutes apart) so yeah, my patience was running out. I feel like screaming! After waiting for the train which seems like an eternity for me, I finally saw a ray of light! Yeah! This is gonna be a great day (or so I thought!).

I look at the train’s clock and it shows 7:25 am (I am supposed to be at work 7:30 sharp!). Totally freaking out! There were so many stops! I don’t believe it! I keep on hearing, “We are sorry for the delay, we are standing momentarily waiting for signals ahead. The train will be moving shortly”. God! After a few seconds I heard, “We are sorry but due to the construction on the Brown Line station, all trains are using SINGLE TRACKS to the Loop”. I am so pissed! I’ve never been this MAD in my life! Why do they have it to be this day?

My patience is at my limits already. I start to rummaged my back pack. I started reading “Running With Scissors” and though the book is hilarious, I couldn’t find any energy to laugh at least just because of the situation am in! The hilarity of my situation really ticked me off! I am so mad! I can’t concentrate reading! I check my wrist watch, 7:50 am….I am so screwed! Totally screwed! I am not gonna make it on time (really!)

I wonder how many train stops¬†do I have to endure before I reach my freaking destination. Seven stops, eight, or probably more. I don’t know! The train finally start moving then stop again (for goodness sake!), I wanted to pull out my hair! God! Instead of agonizing I’ve decided to call in sick rather than be scolded for my tardiness. I am not late. The stupid train ruined my morning (perhaps my day!).

I am now home and I am just venting out all my morning frustrations here in my blog.

Love me or hate me. I don’t care. If you hate me, you’re stupid.

My Worst Habit(s) and my excuses

¬†¬†¬†¬† My absence from blogging for a short period of time has nothing to do with the way I live my life. But mostly because of having¬†no particular idea what to blog about lately. It seems that I am losing my touch, blog wise–that is to be more precise.

¬†¬†¬†¬† I have been trying to brainstorm myself since yesterday and my thinking cap seems to dried up also. It’s ridiculous! I almost panic! Me?! Clueless?!? That is not surprising and quite frankly, it scares me a bit. After drinking a quick fix of my favorite coffee this morning, a sudden thought came to light! Aha! What a genius I’ve become! Isaac Newton must be on my side! My sister Abby is home and she doesn’t appear to be busy. In fact, yesterday she was complaining how bored she’d become after graduating from Nursing school and passing NCLEX. Her boyfriend suggested that she re-read her Nursing books and re-take the NCLEX exam that is if she is¬†inclined to do so. Goodness! I could’ve been the person to tell her so but alas, that idea didn’t came to mind.

¬†¬†¬†¬† Aside from our parents, Abby is the only person from Mars (just kidding!) who seem to know me from head to foot. Why not? We grew up together, punched each other on the face a hundred times when we we’re kids and argued a lot. I know for sure that having me in her life, is a blessing (being sarcastic here ūüôā *lol*). With pen and notebook in hand, I randomly asked my sister, “What are my worst habits?”. My question seem to have taken her aback that I had to repeat my question again. She replied, “What?” After a few seconds of silence, I thought she didn’t hear me and I was about to ask her again when she said, “What are your worst habits?” So, I began to scribble while my sister is too busy enumerating my habits (I call them my “flaws”) and she is quick too! The gall of the girl! Tsk tsk…

1. Staying too long in the computer.

¬†¬†¬† My excuse: My¬†butt is stuck on the¬†chair and I don’t know how to get up!

2. Not cleaning the room (my bedroom, that is!)

¬†¬†¬†¬† My excuse: I’ll do it tomorrow!

3.¬†Cancel queen (she’s saying this because I often cancel my appointments with her). Appointments meaning we have to go shopping or go somewhere!

     My excuse: Errr, do you take rainchecks?

4. Waking up late on my day off.

     My excuse: I am not a morning person. Gimme a break!

5. Loves to procrastinate (a lot).

    My excuse: There is no excuse. I am guilty!

6. I don’t pick up the phone.

¬†¬†¬†¬†My excuse: Why? It doesn’t say I have to pick it up! Besides, whenever it show that it is an “unknown caller”, it means that the caller doesn’t want to be¬†known so why should I bother?

7. Impulsive buying.

¬†¬†¬†¬† My excuse: They’re on sale, alright!

8. Turning on both of my laptop and desktop computers at the same time and don’t know which one to use.

    My excuse: I certainly have no clue why I do this and it boggle me so.

9. Reading books simultaneously and never having the time to finish either books.

   My excuse: It bores me to death if I leave my books unopened.

10. Worrying too much.

   My excuse: What am I supposed to do then?

11. And the last but not the least, drinking too much coffee.

¬†¬†¬† My excuse: I suffer a tremendous and irreversible headaches if I don’t drink coffee. Do you think this is pyschological?

So there! That’s my sister verdict! Fellow bloggers, ask your sister, brother or the person whom you think knows you better! Their reply would surprise you too!