You Might Be An Engineer If….

  • You have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically.
  • You enjoy pain.
  • You know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division.
  • You chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force”.
  • You’ve actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
  • It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
  • You frequently whistle the theme song to “MacGyver“.
  • You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
  • You think in “math“.
  • You’ve calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
  • You hesitate to look at something because you don’t want to break down its wave function.
  • You have a pet named after a scientist.
  • You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
  • The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger’s Cat experiment.
  • You can translate English into Binary.
  • You can’t remember what’s behind the door in the engineering building which says “Exit“.
  • You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there’s a wind-chill factor in the lab.
  • You are completely addicted to caffeine.
  • You avoid doing anything because you don’t want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
  • You consider ANY non-engineering course easy“.
  • When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
  • The “fun” center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
  • You’ll assume that a “horse” is a “sphere” in order to make the math easier.
  • The blinking 12:00 on someone’s VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
  • You bring a computer manual / technical journal as vacation reading.
  • The salesperson at Circuit City can’t answer any of your questions.
  • You can’t help eavesdropping in computer stores… and correcting the salesperson.
  • You’re in line for the guillotine… it stops working properly… and you offer to fix it.
  • You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.
  • You have any “Dilbert” comics displayed in your work area.
  • You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
  • You have never backed up your hard drive.
  • You haven’t bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
  • You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
  • You think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep.
  • You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
  • You’ve ever calculated how much you make per second.
  • Your favorite James Bond character is “Q,” the guy who makes the gadgets.
  • You understood more than five of these jokes.
  • You make a copy of this list, and post it on your door (or your home page !)

I am guilty doing some of the things mentioned above…

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